MOTHER, I AM COMING HOME<\/p>\n
\u201cIt takes learning and experience, to learn\u201d<\/p>\n
You are the queen of your castle Mother\u2014not because you expect bows at your feet, but because you never once let complacency or self-pity keep a throne. You gave me rules without cages. Lessons without chains.
\nAnd I repaid you with \u2018cruelty\u2019.<\/p>\n
I said things that still burn my throat to remember. I left like a storm that didn\u2019t care what it tore down. I was young. That\u2019s not an excuse. It\u2019s just the truth. And the truth now is this: I learned your lessons only after I had left you. Only after the world showed me no one else would have waited.<\/p>\n
Mother, growing up was inevitable. You didn\u2019t do that to me. You were never my jailer. You were only ever my first shelter. A support system, not a system of control.
\nOn my coldest and darkest nights\u2014and there have been many\u2014I know your heart is still mine to return to. You would invite me back from any ruin. That is not a trap. That is grace.<\/p>\n
But I\u2019m all grown now. I need my own roof. My own ground. You and I both know: I can never grow out of your love. In your heart, I am always home. But I must learn to be home in myself.
\nSo I\u2019m asking you\u2014will you catch me once more, old as I seem?
\nWill you let me cry on your chest like a child who lost his way?
\nLet me lean on your shoulder, even now, at my worst?
\nWill you help me burn the bridges that kept me trapped on my dark side?
\nWill I be alright out there? Will I run, or will I ride? Or will I be blown apart by the storm?<\/p>\n
Mother, here is the real question:
\nWill I no longer be afraid to be me\u2014without the fear of what else I could be?
\nWill I hear my own voice and not dread it?
\nYou are not perfect. But can I trust myself the way I have learned to trust you?<\/p>\n
We\u2019re at the edge here, mother. Honestly.
\nStill I turn to you. Show me once more, and I will follow this time.
\nI\u2019ll be your baby. I\u2019ll listen. I\u2019ll climb out of my own way.
\nI\u2019ll unhate myself and get down with that\u2014
\nthen enter the gate where your light shines with mine.<\/p>\n
Flat on my face, but still here. It won\u2019t be easy.
\nBut just because we are still breathing\u2014I can at least try.
\nPause.
\nI can be with you and love me.
\nIf I could hate myself this strong,
\nthen I can love myself just the same.
\nThat\u2019s where I belong.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll project my hate on the things that lied\u2014
\nthe ego that led my heart astray,
\nthe voices that said I\u2019m worthless.
\nThey are denied.
\nIt\u2019s nice to not feel completely alone.<\/p>\n
Forgive myself. Love myself. Thank myself for coming home.
\nHow could I forget? There could be no better place.<\/p>\n
Your son,
\nJordan<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
MOTHER, I AM COMING HOME \u201cIt takes learning and experience, to learn\u201d You are the queen of your castle Mother\u2014not because you expect bows at your feet, but because you never once let complacency or self-pity keep a throne. You gave me rules without cages. Lessons without chains. And I repaid you with \u2018cruelty\u2019. I…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,44],"tags":[46],"class_list":["post-3912","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-author","category-poems","tag-poems"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alasca-black.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3912","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alasca-black.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alasca-black.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alasca-black.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alasca-black.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3912"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/alasca-black.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3912\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3913,"href":"https:\/\/alasca-black.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3912\/revisions\/3913"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alasca-black.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3912"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alasca-black.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3912"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alasca-black.com\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3912"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}